Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
