Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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