all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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