you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
