Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He better not be in your backpack
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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