Your face is a jimmy john
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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