i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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