why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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