The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i love accidental penises.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
