I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
