Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
