ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
