fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
