it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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