Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
