I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
