when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
