The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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