He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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