she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
