guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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