she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.