The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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