As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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