WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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