I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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