playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
