lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
