My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
