i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
