Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
