Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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