I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
