You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
