It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
