I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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