Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
