I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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