Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
