If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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