do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
