You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
