I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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