i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
