I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
