lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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