what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
