matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
