I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize