Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
