So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
