Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
