Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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