I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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