They should really pass out barf bags in church
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
