I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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