they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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