your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
