So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How does one acquire holy water?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize