so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
